How to Reflect Back Another Person’s Message

Mutual understanding is important to the resolution of a conflict. The person who has invited you to participate with him or her in resolving a conflict, has attempted to communicate openly and honestly with you. To ensure that you have received their message, they are asking you to reflect back their communication, i.e. to say back to them, what you have understood.

Tell the other person what you have heard them say. Often when people feel heard, their upset disappears. When you reflect back accurately, they will have an experience of being understood. When you do not reflect back accurately, they will not feel heard and the conflict will remain.

Reflecting back will:

Use the following phrases when reflecting back another person's communication:

How to Respond to Another Person's Reflection

It is important to continue this process until both people feel understood.