How to answer the question: How did it make you feel?

Identifying and expressing your feelings in a way that the other person can hear, is the next important step in the process of resolving your conflict with them. If you find it difficult to identify and express your feelings, you are not alone. Our culture teaches us to avoid feelings or to not take them seriously.

Identify and express your feelings non-judgmentally. There is nothing wrong with how you feel. It is natural to feel the way you do. Being aware of and owning your feelings will help free you from acting them out, in negative ways. If you would like help connecting with and identifying your feelings we invite you to explore this topic more deeply.

We provide examples of conversations where people are expressing their feelings on the Resource Page. We also have a list of questions suggesting a range of feelings you may be having.


When my daughter said she couldn't talk to me, I felt hurt and sad.

When my son walked out and slammed the door, I felt angry and confused.

When my mom told me I had to be home 9:00. I felt angry and hopeless.

When my dad told me I couldn't go out with my friends, I felt controlled and angry.