Throughout your life you have had experiences that have triggered emotions such as anger, sadness, hatred, frustration, etc. You may not have had the chance to think about what you were feeling and take the time to put your feelings into words. We offer you questions that may be helpful in clarifying your feelings.
Alienated: What is going on that is hard for you to connect to the other person?
Angry: What is going on that is making you angry?
Attacked: How are you feeling attacked?
Confused: What is confusing to you?
Controlled: Who or what are you controlled by?
Criticized: What is the criticism?
Disgusted: What disgusts you?
Envy: What are you envious about?
Fearful: What are you afraid of?
Guilty: What are you guilty about?
Hopeless: What do you feel hopeless about?
Humiliated: How are you feeling humiliated?
Hurt: What is hurting you?
Jealous: Who are you jealous of?
Misunderstood: What is it that is not being understood?
Overwhelmed: What overwhelms you?
Punished: Who is punishing you
Rejected: What caused you to feel rejected?
Resentment: What is it that you resent?
Sad: What are your feelings of sadness?
Shame: What are you ashamed about?
Shocked. What shocks you?
Surprised. What surprised you?
Unloved: What is causing you to feel unloved.
Unwanted: Who do you want to want you?
If you are having difficulty connecting with your feelings, it may helpful to sit and bring your awareness into your body. Our emotions live inside our bodies and it takes practice to sense them and recognize them.
It helps to sit quietly and just focus on what is upsetting you. Notice your thoughts and see if there are any physical sensations associated with those thoughts. Are there constrictions in your body? Where? What is happening with your breathing? What arises in your awareness as you bring your attention to your body sensations? Let your awareness move deeper inside. Be patient and kind to yourself.
When you begin to connect to a deeper layer of emotion, you will become more connected with what you are feeling. Words and thoughts associated with your emotions will come into mind. If they don't, don't worry. The process of uncovering deeply buried emotions may take time.