The messages we hear when growing up is that anger is wrong and that we shouldn’t be angry. The message comes from fear that our anger might lead to violent action.
We are told to suppress our anger or to get rid of it. We have all heard phrases like “calm down, cool off, swallow it, ignore them, go hit a punching bag, go somewhere and yell.”
Anger is a human emotion that we all experience. It naturally arises when a need we have is not being met. It is not wrong to feel anger.
In dealing with anger it is important to be able to transform the emotion into an articulated feeling. Identify what you are feeling and express them in words.
Telling someone that you are angry is different from blaming them for how you are feeling. It is liberating to be able to say why you feel angry. Instead of acting out your feelings by yelling, attacking or judging; you can, by experiencing and thinking about what you are feeling, contain your own emotion and use it to express yourself.
When we explore our anger, we will find two components:
Learning how to process both the physical and the mental components of your anger will give you the strength to get what you really want, to get your needs met.